Friday, January 12, 2007

Qualifications and careers

Never again will I repeat my amazing rendition of "Things can only get better" from last term. The latest thing to do when I've had one too many drinks is now to attempt to plan the rest of my life.

This came about after I decided last term that I had made a really big mistake when I was 18. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact I have always associated that song with that Friday morning in May 1997, "Things can only get better" would be one of the songs that best represents November 2006 for me. Instead, however, I decided to settle for "Suddenly I see" by KT Tunstall.

Having discussed the reasons behind my wish to change course to something that I am certain I will enjoy more we decided to move the discussion on to what should I change to that is relevant to my career choice. I don't, however, actually need a degree to do community work. I just enjoy studying so would much rather be on a course that I would find interesting.

Now thinking a little further into the future (and by now I was also rather drunk), we decided that all I really needed was knowledge of GCSE's. That being defined as knowledge that they exist. I may hate John Prescott but he does come in useful for drunken conversations.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Seeing as nobody reads the small print

The Monster Raving Loony Party is a great conversation starter. One of my friends has met one guy from the Monster Raving Loony Party many times whilst at home and decided to ask me if my local area had any representation from them. We don't and, in fact, it wasn't that long ago that I thought they were just any old crowd of complete idiots and not an actual political party with policies and candidates and all the rest.

The conversation about the Monster Raving Loony Party then led on to a conversation about how to hide anything you do not want people to find out about but still be honest and mention it. This, I thought, was a great way of sneaking really unpopular policies into election manifestos. The end result would be completely honest but would look something like:

I believe that you want more from the NHS and therefore I will stop your local hospital from closing.
We have been promised that everyone will have access to an NHS dentist time and time again by Labour but this is clearly not happening so I want to do something about it.
I believe that we need more bobbies on the beat and that policemen should not spend all their time in offices doing paperwork.
Taxes will have to rise beyond recognition to pay for my overly ambitious proposals.
We need to build more prisons rather than letting criminals back into the community where they can easily re-offend.
Every child should have access to good education.
I actually plan to spend most of the next 4 years on holiday and I don't actually care about the people on the street.
Binge drinking is a serious problem for our community today and needs to be sorted but any goals should be realistic.
I'm actually a really nice person, just in case you were interested.
- but you are all such losers and probably don't care.
People who don't vote for me should have to pay three time more tax than the sane people.
In fact, if you are all that stupid then I am going to abolish the right to vote.
I oppose the planned road pricing scheme and would replace it with something that I see as much better for the environment and also revenue neutral. I would abolish road tax and increase petrol tax to cover the cost so that you pay as you pollute.
Recycling facilities would be available to everyone.

It should be noted, however, that this is purely a hypothetical example. I do believe in some of what I have written but definitely not all of it. I am merely trying to express a point that came up in a conversation that I thought was really interesting and relevant to some of the previous posts on this blog.

If, in a hypothetical parallel universe, I decided to stand for a hypothetical parallel universe Parliament on this hypothetical manifesto then I would have every right to raise taxes beyond recognition and abolish the right to vote. Anyone who complained would get the simple response of "then why didn't you read the small print, it was all there".

If only it were that simple. But for now, I think dishonesty will continue to reign.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

It's always good to know who you're up against

There was a sort of mini societies fair at uni today. I went along to man the Craft Society stall in the morning. Once my shift had finished, I walked around and saw my friends from my various other societies. On the way out, I got roped into helping at the Conservatives' stall (though most of the hour I did was spent helping to bring the stall inside as we had chosen to be in a really windy spot and all of our paper was constantly blowing away).

I finally managed to break for lunch at about 1pm but I left with a pile of flyers to deliver to halls. On the way out this time, however, I was given a flyer by none other than the Labour party. This was despite the flyers I was carrying having the words "University of Warwick Conservatives" written across the top of them in rather large letters. Not only this, I am well known as a Conservative on campus. I was at the Go Green Week stall when someone who I don't recall ever having met before asked me if being at that stall was a case of "vote blue, go green".

I read the flyer from the Labour party with interest, though there was only one thing I agreed with - that being where whoever wrote the flyer decided to admit the government weren't too great. I know that knowing who I'm up against in 2007 is not going to be of much use in 2017 or thereabouts but it is always useful to know the strategy and thoughts of your opponents.

Monday, January 08, 2007

I can negotiate the Circle Line, but...

I've had a few issues on my mind lately. I like to think of it as though I have just reached a roundabout/complicated road junction with lots of different options of where I can go. There are no signposts so I do not know where any of the roads lead. I have already tried some of the roads but I end up deciding that the destination that they lead to is not where I want to end up so I have had to turn back and return to the roundabout to try another road.

Recently, I discovered where my destination is. I'm still, however, going in completely the wrong direction. I have to keep making U-turns until I get it right.

This whole situation reminds me of the lyrics of a song I really like - "if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there". The issue is, however, that the only thing I know is where I am going. I don't know how to get there and I've tried the "any road" approach. It doesn't work.

I'm in the middle of quite a stressful time at uni right now. Last November I discovered that I had taken a wrong turning back when I was 18 and since then I have done everything I can think of to put it right and at least head in the general direction of where I want to end up. I am still unsure of exactly which road I will take to reach my destination. It does not feel right for me knowing where I will (hopefully - nothing is guaranteed) be in ten years but not having a clue where I will be in ten months.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Five things

I've just been tagged by Dizzy so here are five things that you might not know about me:
  1. I got offended one night when I was 5 because nobody asked me what was my favourite colour.
  2. I've got to most of my achievements using dishonest tactics.
  3. I became a Christian whilst in hospital when I was 15.
  4. My parents have no idea what my long term aim is.
  5. At least one thing in this list is a lie.
I am going to tag the following bloggers:

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

10 things I would change (if I ever got the opportunity)

This is one of those random posts that I'm doing because I'm bored. It is not a meme but if you also want to do this post on your blog then feel free. If you want me to read it (or anyone else who reads this blog) then let me know in the comments section.

The 10 things that I would change if I ever got the opportunity are:
  1. Differences of opinion would always be solved by talking rather than fighting.
  2. Protesting at the heart of government would not be illegal.
  3. People would stop blaming the Tories for the winter of discontent - it was during a Labour government.
  4. Nobody would be held back from achieving their ambitions by expectations.
  5. Reality TV (and it's contestants) would disappear back into whatever hole it came from.
  6. Prison would be a proper punishment.
  7. The media would be politically impartial.
  8. Student tuition fees would be more affordable.
  9. Politicians would be honest once in a while.
  10. The NHS would not be a financial black hole and would instead be a health service that we can be proud of.
I know most of these are wishful thinking but I can always dream.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Irony is definitely not dead

I've held back from telling anyone about what is in the list I have made of things to do before I'm 30 (apart from a few friends) until 2007. Well, we are now in 2007 - I can't believe it - so I will start by saying happy new year to anyone who happens to stumble across my blog.

I will first say that the plan is not to achieve everything on my list by my 30th birthday. I've picked another date a couple of months later to want to have achieved everything by (that I got by looking at some recent trends and making a few weird calculations with them). For those who are interested, the date I came up with is May 5th 2017.

As I mentioned before, I do not have an average list of things to do before I'm 30. I do not plan to go backpacking in the Far East. I do not plan to go bungee jumping. I do not plan to go sky diving. I'm not that way inclined. Most of the things on my list involve some kind of community service. I set out to make a positive difference to the most number of people and not to go to as many countries as possible or do as many extreme sports as possible.

As it stands at the moment, there is only one part of my plan that does not take into consideration the greater good of anyone else. That will happen next year and is also the only date not subject to amendment. Yes, I've decided to include "turn 21" on the list of things to do before I'm 30. At least I'm not innumerate - I know that 21 comes before 30.

That, however, is not the point. I'm not restricting myself to one drunken night out in the next 10 years. It is just that the very last thing on my list - by which time I will actually be 30 (assuming I have my dates right) - is not really the sort of thing I could do before I turn 21.

Doing loads of random community service is not my new year's resolution for 2007 - I gave up on them a few years ago when I decided that I couldn't be bothered and I always failed anyway. I'm not intending to fail with any of the things on the list, though do know that the odds are stacked against me in some of the things - particularly the last one. There are also a few things that I know I would really like to do but don't know if I should do - a sabbatical for example as it would take up a whole year and would require a great deal of commitment.

So, what on earth has all this got to do with irony, I hear you ask. When I first thought about this in November, I discussed it with a few friends at uni. They were supportive and even seemed to know my eventual aim before I did. That was weird for me but not the weirdest part of that day. I gave a speech to my friends about what I was intending to do in some distant future (that I have actually since brought forward by about 10-12 years) that was more inappropriate than something else I did earlier on the same day - turning up at an SSLC meeting with a little bit of a hangover following Top Banana on the previous night. The gist of this speech was:

I'm sick of always only representing other people's best interests. It is about time I considered what was in my best interests.
...
A bit of waffle about how I enjoyed representing everyone else's best interests when it was appropriate.
...
I'm going to stand for Parliament.

My friends offered their support and informed me that they had known all along. They didn't seem to care about how I had started my speech. I actually think that they were pleased that one of us had decided to take something that had started in the middle of October as a bit of light-hearted fun a bit more seriously rather than pleased that the resident Conservative wants to be an MP in some distant future.

Anyway, as another friend advised me in December, I'd better get started writing my victory speech. According to my calculations, I have only 10 1/2 years left.

(Thinks for a little while)

Though, I'm quite a last minute person. I think I'll leave it until about ...

(Thinks for a little while again)

... 2017?